Friend zone

Being a young lady in this generation of ours is sure not an easy task. I’m very sure most parents don’t understand this even though we pretend to see the understanding and concern in their words when they throw their truck load of warnings and advice.

That being said, I still strongly believe that what it takes to love one’s self, have self-respect and guide one’s dignity haven’t changed that much not minding the introduction of the internet to our old very limited secretive life.

Trying not to deviate from the issue at hand – Friend zone. Wikipedia defines Friend zone as a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person.

Platonic – is a type of love that is chaste and non-sexual.

 

This therefore means you can only be friend zoned if you initially wanted a romantic relationship with the other person.

I think the term friend zone came around to change our perception of how the relationship with a girl and a guy should be. You would agree with me that a girl cannot be in an intimate relationship with 99% of the men who would approach her. And you would also agree with me that she can’t become enemies with them all just because the intimacy isn’t happening. Now there is every possibility that that babe you are wanting so bad is probably in a relationship or just in that phase where she wants to just enjoy her spinsterhood without any man interfering.

The way most guys use the term can be very annoying. You meet a guy today, you get talking and the next thing is – “Don’t even think of friend zoning me”, “I can’t be friend zoned”, “I hate being friend zoned”, “No girl can ever friend zone me”. Some even go as far as saying, “it’s either we are dating or we can’t be friends”. I strongly agree that a girl and a guy can be platonic friends and only the shallow minded ones would conclude a girl and a guy are intimate just because they hang out or do other things friends should naturally do.

As long as a lady is in a relationship – a good relationship at that, I think she can have other guys as friends (– platonic relationship) because when a woman is in love and satisfied with her love life, she doesn’t even have the time to pay so much attention to her female friends talk more of having anything more than platonic friendship with any other guy. It’s just logical. A real woman loves hard and would channel the little attention she has left on more important things in her life such as her career or even education.

So the next time you think you are being friend zoned, pause and think about it. Would you rather have a lady leaving her man to attend to your lustful needs just because you claim to love her or be friends with a woman of substance who values what she has and stand a chance to meet other awesome single ladies through her?

As far as I am concerned, there is nothing like being friend zoned. It is either you end up dating, become platonic friends or just her acquaintance. Stop attaching negativity to the word friend zone but if you think you have been friend zoned and you think it’s that horrible, then unfriend zone yourself and stop acting like you’ve been sentenced to death.

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11 comments

  1. See ehn, this one that you’re running ya mouth, na because the thing never catch you before. When better feelings catch you but the person no get ya time or the person dey treat you like im senior sister, you go understand. You think say e easy to commot feelings for ya body? Ok. Kontinu.

    1. LMAO! U dont know half of it Harold. I am in it now and it aint funny but still, “Unfriendzone ya sef” shekena!

  2. Friend zone is a good thing.But it usually spoils because most guys can’t manage relationshipsThey would rather be your enemy if they can’t be your b.fI think friendship comes with maturity though and boundariesI used to be tired of it growing up but now I just accepted that this is the way the world is and the way people are.

  3. I feel guilty. It is either you date me or nothing else, now that was then. Maturity has set in, and I now reason differently. It is hard though having to settle for being ‘just friends’.

  4. In my short stay on this side of the galaxy I have come to the conclusion that every guy, ideally, ought to be friend-zoned by (N-1) girls…where N excludes female relations (mother, sisters, cousins, distant cousins twice removed, aunties, etc)After all how many girls does one guy want to marry? (ideally)We are usually annoyed with friend-zoning because we are absurdly myopic. We center our universe around one person who clearly doesn’t see us in the same light. Sad but true…It does take maturity to enjoy the benefits of friendship without seeking to include romance in that equation. okay… bye

  5. friendzoneing is 1 of the most painful feelings in life mehn!!!! but tru talk tho we cant have all the pple around us.

  6. Lol…I hear what you’re saying oh but ehn, it’s really about choices. If you don’t want the guy/babe as a boy/girlfriend, then why should it bother you that he/she doesn’t want to be ‘just friends’. He wants you in one way and no other, you don’t want him in that way but in many others (friend, brother, father, bff, bfffff)…e no matter, there is conflict of interest so put asunder. I think it’s selfish for the friend-zoner to complain when the zonee says it’s all or nothing. Cos she gets nothing, but you? You get the best of two worlds

  7. Everybody do what you like ooooo. I always time myself in such matters. If i don’t make headway within two weeks, i back out. cos even if d girl finally agrees to date you for reasons best known to her, there is an 80% probability that what you formed nice guy for is not worth it. Friendzone? Catching feelings? When i neva play FIFA or God Of War finish.

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