The Ex Factor – 21

The Ex Factor - elsieisy blog

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If life throws lemons at you, catch them, make lemonades and sell it. Just pray there’s anyone to buy it.

I hate that I like to say this but not everyone really understands the true meaning of friendship. A lot of people put to foolish use, that delicate word “friend”.

Not every friend is a friend and I don’t care if you call me crazy for making this little research I’m just about sharing with you about the word ‘friend’, what it really means and how it came about.


Word Definition:

  1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
  2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
  3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade or companion.

Word History:

A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin word: Amïcus “friend” and Amõ “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phileõ “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frëond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb frëon, “to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *frï, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, “victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris diës, “day of Venus.”

I don’t want to bore you off but there are some people that do not refer to people as their friend, except in the general “my friend” term but when they call you a friend, you are definitely going to take a whole lot of effort to unfriend or defriend yourself from their little wolf pack. I am that kind of person. There are slight differences between associates, hommies, allies, comrades, brothers in arms and pals but I’m not your english language teacher am I?

There’s also a difference between a simple friend and a real friend and its disgusting how some people would keep portraying themselves as strangers and want you to call them friends. Friends are those special people you surround yourself with, those you don’t joke with and people who are just a mini step below your fam… family is what I mean by that. Although as you grow and your status changes, your friends are bound to change. Sometimes in life, you have to shed both habits and friends but some friends are closer to you than the limits of the word’s definition. They leave the status of being your friend to becoming your Alter-ego.

Apologies for my many bible references when I’m flowing in the current of emotions but I’ll just make a small flash pass at proverbs 17:17… So before I get anyone reading this, confused and steaming off with questions like “Jay, why all these gibberish and fruity blabbering?” “Why must you think out loud and won’t stop at that, but still write it down for someone to still come read it up?” “Jay, what’s your problem?… Give your thoughts and writings some direction please and stop wasting other people’s time.”… Before my angry readers draw their weapons (their tongues, that is) I’ll just say this: If you’ve ever had a ‘friend’ or if you’ve ever been a good friend to someone, either they loved you back or it was just one sided or if you know the true meaning of friendship, stop for a few seconds and say a prayer for Dave. My friend who’s slowly slipping away into darkness on the hospital bed. The exact narration of events are still unclear, as I wasn’t there when it happened but according to “he said” and “she said”, Dave had stood up while I was out of The Stepp Inn, asked for me and left the supposedly watchful eyes of Doc FM. Next thing Doc knew was a heated argument at the near end of the club and in no time, a crowd had assembled and that was it. Our next tasks were picking our friends body from the floor, calling a cab and making our way crazily to the hospital.

Although word has it that nobody touched Dave. He was said to have slipped and hit the back of his drunk head on the edge of the ordering stool. Some said he had tried molesting a guy’s girlfriend and the guy pushed him like he was in a pushing contest, and thanks to his already drunk and staggering state, he simply went like a bowling ball into the ordering stool.

Titi nearly went crazy upon her arrival to St. Luke’s hospital. Only seeing the blood made her dizzy and she had to hold firmly unto me to stop her sinking to the ground.

“He’s strong. I’m very sure he’ll be ok.” I had told her as she broke down in tears.

“Why did you get him drunk and abandon him Jay?, why?, why?, why?, why?…” Each “why” was accompanied with a feather weight punch in the chest and I dare not let the puncher out from my grasps and embrace, before she gets her spark and does something crazy.

“I’m sorry… I’m very sorry.”

My shirt was soaked from various forms of liquid matters, water, blood, Titi’s tears and sweat took the main soaking percentage. I was really panicking but I dare not show it. Although we were told we could go home by the health personnels attending to Dave, we decided to wait to check on his progress and response.

“You guys can go home now Jay, I’ve got my man from here” Titi later said suddenly as we all sat on the waiting couch, just after the reception. Mickey and Doc FM had made to leave in the slowest way possible but I sat still and it really got them confused as they contemplated on sitting back or leaving without me.

“I’m not asking if you wanna go home Jay. I want you guys to go. That’s what I meant. I’ll need time alone with my fiancée” Titi whispered. She sounded calmer and what she said would’ve made me dance since its obvious she had forgiven my friend but the situation on ground would not give any room for it, else I’ll just bag myself a quick mental check up.

“I’ll see you later then.” I said beneath my breath as I gathered my stuffs together, gave Doc and Mickey a “let’s go” sign with a move of my head and made for the door. Just as I got to the door, Titi called out.


The three of us instantly turned back like it was rehearsed. We were looking very sorry and almost worse than Chiwetel in twelve years a slave.

“I’m not angry!”

Nobody replied. We just nodded in unison and left the reception hall.


I sat in the cab, partly thinking of my friend in the hospital and what it was, that Lizzy wanted to see me for. She has been behaving strangely lately though and I’ve sat down to scrutinize the chain of events between us in the past few weeks. I’ve not been able to lay hands on any spot where I’ve stepped on a mine. Probably I’ve offended her, without even knowing what I did got on her bad side. She probably must have gotten tired of hoarding whatever it is I did inside her mind, hence the reason I’m on my way to her place.

A few lines form Brymo’s ‘Down’ song sneaked into the radius of my attention and I smirked at how the artiste quickly painted life’s complication with his imaginary characters of the thief, the chief, the aboki and the theif’s neighbour’s daughter. Life itself is complicated enough. Why add females? I had read somewhere, probably from one of my very own articles. Females can paint the picture of someone with a small cut on the little finger seem like he’s about to… Or just underwent an amputation. There’s no over-sizing natural female specialties. Gossip, exaggeration, attention seeking, mood swing and overreaction. Although I’m not trying to generalize all attributes to every female but I could still carry out a female censors and my statistics would show…

“…Oga, na this junction?… Oga mi?” The cab driver interrupted my thoughts.

I jerked out of my thinking galore and realized we were almost at Lizzy’s place. For some unknown reasons, my psychic thing flashed a thought of telling the driver to turn back and drive me back home which almost made me laugh a scornful laugh.

“Turn to your right and stop in front of the fifth house by the left.” I replied as I fondled my pocket for my phone.


“Hey Liz!… Whatsup dear?”

“I’m fine”

I shrugged and continued.

“I’m in front of your house. Could you come open the door?”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you were about coming instead of calling that you’re already outside my door?… What if I’m not at home?… What will you do?”

“See, young woman…” I got out of the parked cab, hooked the phone to my left ear with my shoulder, drew my wallet and handed some notes to the cab man. “I’m not in the mood for your attitudes. Just open your door if you’re at home and if you’re not, simply talk and I’ll just jump back into the cab that brought me. Can it be more complicated than that?”

She replied with something inaudible and in a few seconds, I heard movements followed by clicks on the brown HTS security door.

“Good afternoon…”

“For the record, I’m not dumb. I tried your number and it was saying switched off. Its you who knows whose call you’re avoiding that is making you switch off your phone.” I sharply cut in angrily.

“I’m sorry.” She replied as she walked back into the house.

I followed her inside wearing a very angry expresssion, shut the door behind me and just as I turned back, Liz ran into me and hugged me tight like a kid afraid of someone. She sank her head into my chest and I just stood there confused, while I ran my right fingers through her hair.

“I’m sorry darl.” She whispered.

“Its ok” I replied.

She raised her head, drew mine with both hands until our lips met. The kiss lasted a minute or two and I knew something was not right.

“I’ve been transferring aggression. I’m really sorry Jay. I must have got you feeling bad for nothing.” She said when she finally let go of me and went to sit on the left hand single seater comfy couch.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded

“… And who’s annoying you?”

“Nobody.” she replied, she shaking her head slowly.

And that was when I saw that her face was hiding a lot of sadness and fear. She had black lines under her eyes – she has been crying often of late.

“What could’ve happened that Liz deemed it right to keep me away from?… What must have caused her consistent weeping?” I thought as I moved to take a squatting position in front of her.

“Talk to me honey”

She just held my hands but didn’t reply.

…And that was when it struck me and I felt my heart skip two pulses.

“Where’s Dorothy?”

Liz bursted into uncontrollable tears and I felt so faint, I scrambled for support.

Everyone has a spot that links to their emotions… However strong and heartless they may seem. Even the stone heart has a piece of flesh in it.

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