Click here to read Jennifer Chinenye Emelife’s Knotted.

Kemi writes:

I am sorry it took me this long to write back. Saying you are like a sister to me is an understatement. You are more than a sister to me. The day you got married to him, yes I ran around in uncommon servitude, but that was me doing everything possible to hold back my tears. Remember when you both drove off? I locked myself in the rest room and cried to my satisfaction.

I knew things will never be the same, I knew I wouldn’t be able to just pack my things down to your place for the weekend when one of my boyfriends’ hurt me badly. Yes, you know we are so different but we came to love and accept each other. I know I will never find a friend like you and I truly appreciate your efforts in staying in touch.

Life has never been the same since you got married. Although I miss you a lot, I pray for your happiness each time.

I will gladly come hold your hands but before I do so, I need you to forgive me. Forgive me for not being blunt enough with you. Forgive me for not telling you exactly how I felt about the private decision you and your man made.

Yes, you let me in on it but private is private and I had to respect your decision. I couldn’t find the courage to tell you how important it is to get your sexual life right in a marriage especially when you are already sexually active before marriage just because I know the happiness I saw in your eye when you told me you were glad you’d be walking down the aisle on God’s term. You were so glad you could find such man after having too many body count in your own opinion.

I looked into your eyes and words failed me. I told myself I had to allow you live through this. After all, life is all about risks and all we do on daily basis is take risk.

But now I feel I should have spoken, after reading your letter, I have been enveloped with some strange kind of feeling. You are just too awesome to go through this. I feel as though I am the one in that situation. Please forgive me for not speaking up. Forgive me for swallowing my words.

Do not lose your mind. You cannot afford to lose your mind for your sake and mine. Drastic situation calls for drastic measures. You are no whore. This isn’t a time to think about what the society says, this is the time to be selfish. Think about you and your happiness. How much longer do you intend living in denial? How much longer do you intend longing for a body that will never satisfy you?

I will not repeat my mistakes again. I will speak no matter how my words come out.

Forgive me my best friend. I will come hold your hands but note that my tongue is coming with me. All of it!

Yours Kemi