I met the most wonderful guy. Between the two of us, I don’t know who was crazier about the other, him or me. I was convinced this was a match made in heaven.
One fine day, we do the “truth or dare” game and I tell him all about my past, he handles it well. Then he says I am divorced and I have a 3 year old daughter. I just freaked out. All that was going on in my head at the time was this
1. My family will never accept him
2. Taking him for who is will come against my faith
But I could not bear the thought of losing him, so I did the next best thing. I cried. I forced him to take back all his said. I cried, beg and pleaded and he took everything back. That’s was a relief, and for a while it seems everything was back to normal, at least I thought so.
Something was not right, it seemed like we were drifting apart. I was doing all I could to see that the relationship was sealed with a marriage. I was convinced that he was my “THE ONE”. The only glitch was that no matter how hard I tried to hold it together, he tried just as hard to tear it apart.
At this point, I realized that all my preconceived objections, I was ready to fight it out; I was ready to face anyone that was going to come against our union, but there was a problem and I could not place my finger on it.
I could see the telltale signs, but I wasn’t ready to give up. He went as far as cutting me off for six months, but that wasn’t enough to tell me that play time was over. Then one day it sunk in. My unanswered phone calls were deliberate. He made a conscious effort to always stand me up on all our dates. I tried to figure out why, but no one was ready to tell me.
Then one day I discover he had someone else and till date, he has refused to say a word to me or pick my phone calls. I am tempted to think that he hates me. Everyone thinks I shouldn’t waste my time trying to figure out what happened. They say he has no regard for me, so there is no point finding out.
But how does one leave an unfinished book?
I know it’s over, but there is still this part of me that wants to know why and not just assume. There is also this part that wants to apologize. Or do I just do the same and hate him right back? I am so confused.
What do I do? I just want to know
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10 comments
There is something calling ‘rebound’ you know?….just have a wild weekend off…by monday your feeble brain would be reset to tell you there is no such thing as love…its all just a feeling of convenience
Err…I really don’t get you! You guys were playing a game and he came out painly and told you a truth about him right? And the way you reacted was by telling him to take it all back? That was a defining moment in your relationship and you used ur own hands to create the beginning of problems with him. Your reaction alone was the first thing that started pushing him away. You claim to love this guy and believe he is your ‘the one’ but yet you can’t accept all his baggage? Now ask yourself if you’ll truly call that love. Humans beings are not perfect and we make mistakes, what matters is how we deal with and learn from them. Love is pure and does not judge. It doesn’t give a damn about what others would think. Love supersedes all and even your faith knows that. At that, you should realised that he loves his daughter more than anything in the world and wouldn’t want anyone or anything to come in between.You have created an illusion where you believe you still have a chance with this guy. You have to come out of that and face reality. I mean someone that does not talk to you for 6 months, who is also seeing another person has obviously moved on with his life and doesn’t care about you anymore. What you need to do is let it go, you said you know its over so let it go. The answer has always been in front of you, you didn’t just want to accept it. You know why he left you. I advise you move on with your life. We all fall down at certain points in life what matter is how we get back up and thrive on.Sometimes in life there are certain things that we can’t seem to understand or explain why it happened that way, no matter how hard we try.
this my name sake Jay has said everything fa. in simple words, “na u take ur hand find trouble”. simple
My dear u don’t need to apologize….u just have to rest ur head and find time to forget about him, then life goes on
Said his mind….
Jay has said it all! No one can help u but u! But as u mpve on in life, have it at the back of ur mind “there is no such thing as perfect” if u look close enough u will always find the blemish but question then is how do u deal with it…….You relationship had its flaws but you couldn’t or you simply refused to see it. How do u explain you guys finding out about each other during a game, come on, who does that?! I believe before u start creating fantasies you should know each other to an extent.After all that’s been said and done, I think you just need to move on with your life a d wake up from the illussion that he loves, hate, or mighty come back to you. No he is not…… I am sure he left you cos he feared for his child, whom you rejected at first knowledge.That my sister is my 50kobo advice to you, I hope u invest it.
I think you should just let him be because its obvious your forcing him to take back his “Truth” meant you were not ready to accept him the way he was. If you were really in love with him, his former marital status or the fact that he had a kid wouldn’t make you so sad. Just move on, y’all can never be together.
A saying goes like this “You need to get on with someone to get over someone” All you have to do is find something to engage yourself in and he will soon be history. It might be hard not to blame yourself for what has happened but you just have to know that the guy you’re spending your time killing or worrying about mght be somewhere having the time of his life. Get up from slumber and make a change.
You shall the truth and it shall set you FREE. Babe , you are Free.
My dear u dint make a mistake o, with the way he threw it at you how else did he expect u to react? It’s nt a question of accepting his flaws anymore, he shoulda told yu @ d beginning of the rshp. And he is an ass for ending things that way…