What does Detty December mean to you? Some would say Detty means turning up and making sure you have maximum fun, especially this December. But I don’t think this is where the definition ends or how it should. Detty December should be to you what you have decided it to be, just like everything else life has to offer. For Nigerian Musician, LadiPOE, Detty December for him is putting in all the work this month to achieve his goals for 2020. According to the Tea he spilled on my TV show, he is working on a Revival project which will mean dropping consistent music. Of course this is hard work and he understands it, hence the need to make his December detty by putting in all the work.
If you follow me on Instagram or privy to be on my WhatsApp contact to view my status, you may have seen how extra I am about Detty December. For me, it is as literal as it sounds and I am doing it unapologetically. I was telling my friend few days ago that 2019 is the first in 11years I have decided to let go of my pain or maybe suppress it to have fun. I lost my mother on the 27th of May 2007 and since then, the idea of Christmas or any holiday for that matter has been painful for me.
In 2017, I tried to get over the pain by pouring my heart out on this blog post and twitter and cooking my mom’s favorite Christmas sauce. It worked to an extent because I was able to help many people feel better by sharing my own pain. I got so many emails and messages from people who weren’t finding any festive in the festivity. We were able to hold our hands virtually and to say, you are not alone, try to have some fun and just like every other day, 24hours went by.
In 2018, I was excited to be part of a project by Sigma Pension. The aim was to help put a smile on orphans who definitely have it worse than I do. I was happy on the campaign. As a social media influencer and strategist, there are jobs you do that are more sentimental than financial, and DearSigmaSanta was one of those. It brought purpose to my 2018 Christmas and I am grateful for it.
Its 2019 and I just want to be happy, travel, hang out more, have fun and be selfish. But why am I writing this? It is to remind you that someone needs your love and attention or their December will not be detty. Note that I did not use ‘may’ or ‘might’. I am writing from a place of experience. I know there are plans by different people, small groups and corporate organizations to make the children at different orphanage homes smile on this special day we have chosen to celebrate Christ. It gives me joy that we have that culture. However, this is about that friend of yours who is the life of the party, who turns up looking like ‘today bread’ every time. That friend that have lost a loved one, a family…reach out to them.
The pain we do not share is much more than the laughter we share.
Again, I say this out of experience, for this almost 12 years, I can categorically say that my friends were not friends enough to me (Don’t worry, I said it to them all already). Am I angry? No. Did I blame them? No. It takes a level of knowledge and understanding to know how to be a good friend to certain people at certain times. For some people, they are just blessed with the ability to feel and imagine what others feel. That way, they kind of know when and how to step in as a friend.
Also note that people like myself tend to want to shut everyone out…shut everything that reminds them of what they use to have. And on days like Christmas, every household will make you remember what you had. So please understand if and when they put up a wall or tell you they are fine. Respect it but just be there. All I am saying is, just be a little sensitive and spread love.
And just like my Detty December actually means turning up, for the people of chibok, their Detty December means having some form of electricity.
This was made possible by Joel ‘Kachi Benson who shot the Daughter of chibok short film in Virtual reality and has since taken it upon himself to get as much help as possible for the people of chibok in this trying period. To him, the donors and the team at VR 360 stories, I say thank you for making December Detty for the men and women of chibok.
Watch my one on one conversation with Joel ‘Kachi Benson here.
It is Christmas, spread some love and be happy!