By Stela Xega

As i saw youMy eyes started to glowMaybe it was loveOr fearOr a fearful love

Too youngToo scaredToo passionateToo wrong

Why can’t i burnThe idea of youAs i did withEveryone else

PassengerStrangerWhy don’t youLeave me alone?I beg you

As i walked these streetsIt seemed like you were thereIn each step i tookIn every kid’s laugh i heardIn every sad and tired face i sawIn every song i listenedIn every rain and tear drop

It’s like i’m taking a titleYou never gave me’Yours‘

All i could think wasNights with youBeing with him didn’t takeYou out of my mindNeither for a second

As he touched my faceMy body in the pouring rain at 3 amAll i could see was your faceYour name, your big eyesFlashing  in front of meAll i did was bullshitting myselfMorally speaking

I wish you knewDon’t worry loveI’ll never tell

You’re sick,careless,meanWell who isn’t?Being hurt makes you coldAnd lonelyYou are just as lonely as me

A hole in the heartYou‘ll never closeI know how it feels,loveIt’s been years

I was made to understandBut not to be understood.How long will i wait untilI have my own piece of happiness?How long will i say nothingAnd let it fuck me up?How long will i set you apart?How long will i give you the privilege of knowingThat i’ll be thereHow long will i be hoping it’s me and you in the end?How long?

I was on fireAnd you used meTo light up your cigarette

Fool of meI never knew you hadSo much cigarettes

I wish i could writeA good poem, goddammit.