Yesterday, I kept up with the numerous posts about rape on Facebook. I was mostly following comments and I found it appalling that in this age, some people are still advising women to dress in certain ways to avoid being raped. It’s really stupid that anyone thinks that’s the way to stop rape. It’s also sad that rape is becoming a thing now. If secondary school boys can attempt to sexually abuse their female counterparts in broad daylight and people were more interested in taking out their phones to record the shameful act than doing something to stop those boys, then I think we have a huge problem on our hands.
Parents need to talk about consent when discussing sex with their kids. Please add it to your curriculum. We also need men to stand up in the fight against rape. Enough of asking women why they won’t speak about men being abused. It’s not a gender war. Get up and be big brothers to these boys. Peer pressure is real. These boys may come from good homes but will go to school and be influenced by bad company. That should not be the only place they learn about sex and consent. They are the generation of the internet. They live and breathe off social media. They need to come online and find men they admire and look up to talk about consent. They need to see their pastors, elder brothers, uncles and fathers speak openly about abuse. Dear men, it’s time to join in the war against rape and all forms of sexual abuse.
Why are women’s voices louder? It’s because we have refused to be silent. They say it’s our fault that we’re raped. They say we seduce our rapists. They say we shouldn’t have visited those guys that raped us. They say because we’re married we can’t complain about being forced to have sex by our husbands. They say we brought shame on our families because we allowed ourselves get raped. They try to drown our voices when we talk about it.
But we refuse to be silent. We refuse to be shut down. Whether we have been raped or not, it doesn’t matter. One person’s pain is felt by all. Rape is a crime against humanity. Against all of us. Men, women, children. You can save someone from being a rapist today by speaking against the inhumane act. Please, men, stop being silent. Use your social media space well. Instead of coming here to attack women who are vocal against sexual abuse, do your own bit to put an end to it.
Ladies, this is not a fight against men. It’s also not just a fight against rapists. It is war against a deadly culture that’s spreading. Women rape too. Many boys have been violated by older women. Even grown-up men have had their share of sexual abuse. That these things are not spoken about as much doesn’t mean they don’t occur. There is no rape gender. There is no gender that can’t be raped. The boys who are being abused have mothers who love and care for them. They could be your kids too. The pain is the same whether female or male. It’s time to have an all-encompassing view when dealing with societal ills like this or all our efforts here on social media would end in gender wars. And in the end, what would the next generation learn from us?
Stop the rapist. Stop rape. #StandToEndRape
by Sally Kenneth Dadzie
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