Picking broken pieces, YES OR NO?

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I went through the channels I am subscribed to on BBM as I woke up from my nap and I saw this post on Love channel – “A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together”, it caught my attention so I wanted to know what the subscribers had to say in the comment section and I was surprised to notice the 15 (as at then) comments on the post were all in support of the quote and I nodded.love_channel_capture[1]

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 I nodded not because I thought they were wrong or that I didn’t agree with the quote but I nodded at the way people evolve and change when it comes to our perspective on things. I stand to be corrected but years back when you get to crawl the internet or speak to people around you on broken relationships and picking it up from when you called it quits, 80% percent would tell you “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”. They are very quick to tell you to try and fix your broken relationship because you don’t know what the next person would be like. Probably worse than the one you are moving away from thereby running from frying pan to fire. I am also not against that kind of thinking, no one is perfect. But I see changes. LOL

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While our view on relationship matters changes I would remind you that there is no one rule fits all when it comes to being in a relationship. All men are not the same, their wants and needs differs and a better understanding of who you are dating or courting would make all the difference. That’s a topic for another day.

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Break up can be caused by either of the listed below:

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Cheating

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Irreconcilable difference (Compatibility)

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Family choices

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Changes

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Relocation

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Abuse

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As much as I would not mandate you to go back to your ex (not that I can though), I would love to use this medium to ask the ladies to take time out in order to think things through thoroughly especially when the break up was caused by changes or you were just bored out. People learn every day, they go through phases and maintaining a relationship takes maturity. The way you see things today, the way you handle your mood and vital issues around you today would be quite different from how you would in the next five years especially when transiting from the teenage days to your adult stage or even in between different stages of adulthood. He might be a total jerk today by not realizing how awesome a lady you are and then realize his mistakes in the next months or years to see that you have the qualities he needs in a woman. People change, you change, I change. Life is all about risk, dating him again is as much risk as dating someone else. Even if your mirror is totally crushed and you think it can’t be fixed, yeah I agree but remember a new one can be acquired.

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People break up with their exes to end up getting married to them 5-7years down the lane. What do you think happened? Life happened, change happened, maturity set in, understanding was built and they saw love alone wasn’t just enough to fuel a long-lasting relationship. They searched for their common grounds and decided they were still compatible. I agree that there are men who get it right from the onset but there are also men that had to learn lessons through life, give it a try if you are still available.

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8 comments

  1. ‘there is no one rule fits all when it comes to being in a relationship.’\r\n\r\nThat’s just it. Some broken relationships are worth fighting over, and mending. Some you just know to let it go. There is no strict direction to guide how you handle a relationship, both when it is thriving and when it is in trouble. Simple as that. In all we do, with whomever we are doing it with, we can only hope for our eyes of understanding and discernment to be open.

  2. Wonderful post as always, very contemporary and ever relevant in every socially conscious adult’s life(most of us at least). Relationships are really for matured minds and not kids. If parents are quick to clarify that these things entail a lot more than mere love, infatuation, lust or obsession, we would be more prepared emotionally, physically and otherwise before venturing into it. Its really about what works for each individual but the truth is, no human is without flaws, we mostly forget that and are usually too quick to expect the next potential partner is better than the present or the past. For me, I just believe anything is possible, never say never.

  3. I want to ask you a question Elsie. Why do you center most or if not all your posts on the female gender? Try and balance it. I know you are a lady but still on still, “No be only females waka come” Nice post though. In my opinion, picking up the pieces after a break up is not advisable, well depending on what caused it anyway. If it can’t work, it won’t work. 😉

  4. In the words of a pastor, “if your heart is broken, pick up the broken pieces, glue it and carry on”. Not every relationship is a cast in stone, it is either meant to make you better or mar you. What doesn’t kill you make you stronger. Nice piece Ely

  5. …..the devil you know most times is better than the angel that you don’t know. \r\nI have read my thoughts in the above comments, no need to duplicate. \r\nNice post.

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