When I hear people say ‘decent single ladies do not live alone’, I just call them idiots in my head and keep walking or remain unlooking.
How can a person just say stuffs like that without thinking? We talk faster than we think and it’s something I hope majority will stop.
I have never hidden the fact that I stay alone from anybody. I do not believe in drawing people in with a lie or falsehood. If you don’t like my truth then keep walking, you are not supposed to be in my life.
There are reasons why a woman will have to live alone. It shouldn’t be a big deal and it doesn’t make her any less decent. If a Bachelor can live alone in peace, why can’t a Spinster?
If a man can live alone, a woman can. Click To Tweet
I remember an acquaintance telling me not to reveal that I live alone to anyone, especially men. He said by doing so, the men will have an impression of me. They’d think my house is a place where different men troop in easily to have sex with me. This was way back so I was almost believing his words.
The only problem was that, whenever I’m asked, I say the truth. I’m terrible with lies. I don’t know how people do it but it’s very difficult for me to tell a lie and also keep at it. I will rather hold the truth from you than telling a lie.
After a while I said ‘fuck it’. Think whatever you like. If staying by myself will make me not see horseband, I think it’s fair enough. I love my space and I’m even trying to wrap my head around having to share a space with one man for the rest of my life.
Some ladies live alone because they have no choice. That’s the only way they can live. Why is it easy for you to accept a woman living alone (off campus) because she had to move closer to school than living alone when done with her education.
I have heard all sorts, seen all sorts.
It’s more like, you are either living somewhere because of school, living with your family or relative or living in your ‘husband’s’ house. SMH
I read somewhere about a lady who suffered domestic violence in the hands of her aunt. From the story, this lady had a job, a well paying job o, she even had vacation allowance and they traveled to different parts of the world for training. But each time she came home a bit late or traveled for these training, she comes back to her Aunt treating her like a slave. Hitting her with the nearest item. Of course makeup dey cover plenty.
It got me thinking. Why would a human being endure such treatment when she can easily afford an apartment? And I realised many women live their lives to please the society, hoping that one day, one man from the pleased society will come forward to marry them so they can be called ‘Mrs.’.
I remember another dude I met about 3years ago telling me that the moment he entered my house, he knew I wasn’t a runs girl. I asked him to explain and he said runs girls will have AC, flat screen and all in the house.
I cursed his entire generation in my head. Imagine somebody saying the things I’m praying for and working towards getting will make him see me as a runs girl. Sigh* I wonder what he will say now though. I’m probably the queen of runs girls.
Living alone makes you responsible and independent. Not the other way round Click To Tweet
Like I said, there are different reasons a lady will have to live alone. Orphaned or just comfortable enough to live alone.
Who a lady lives with does not determine her body count. Get that into your head.
These society standards have made some ladies live in houses where they cannot breath in peace just because they don’t want to be seen as indecent.
If a man can live alone, a woman can. It changes nothing. She’s responsible and taking care of herself and her needs.
Erase all these nonsense from your head. A lady staying with her family is not better than a lady lounging in her apartment, neither is a lady living alone better than the one living with her parents or a family member.
Let people be comfortable living their lives the way it works for them.
Like somebody said on facebook – I think it’s even more progressive if a lady gets to live alone and independent, experiencing life on her own, being able to make rational decisions. Not jumping from her parents house to the so called husband’s house
18 comments
Thank you ma’am, you have said it all.
Nice write-up……u just said my mind
Uve said it all… tnx! Though av never met with anyone who thinks living alone is indecent for a woman!!I’ll just curse dat person.
What the society thinks may not always be right. It’s better to do what’s best at each point in time. YOLO
So true, I’ve heard from several people that it doesn’t speak well for a woman to live alone, that it’s more moral for a man to marry her from her parents house but i often ask, at what point then does she get to do for herself? If a man can’t appreciate a ladies independence then he should “look bush”, such men are the ones to come and say a lady belongs to the kitchen, sitting room and the other room
Na real look bush.\n\nPray tell why Ladies cannot live alone.\n\nWhen does she get to do herself?\n\nI am just sorry for those who live by society standards.\n\nThanks Lawlarh
After I finished from law school, did my nysc. I then decided to start living on my own but people around frowned at it that it was indescent, I lived with my uncle for 2years cos my parents were not In Lagos. I went through hell, i moved out and I’m glad I did it’s been 2years now, living on my own moulded me into the woman that I am today. What the society think isn’t always right
Imagine going through hell that can be avoided. I am happy for you dear.\n\nI am sure you learnt somethings from the hell experience.\n\nThank you Solola
Elsie, thank you a gazillion times for this piece. You just spoke my mind. It is pertinent for a lady to live alone and understand correct responsibility before jumping into “horseband” house. And many other reasons that cannot be explained all at once. Our society demands soooo much from women and you begin to wonder “to what end?”
If the demands were reasonable sef, e for better.\n\nThanks Tofunmi
see ehn God would bless you for this…tell them
LOL. Amen.\n\nThank you Chantel
Nice piece, Elsie. Rightly said, I must say big kudos to you & your write-ups getting me struck to your page *like its a ritual daily performed… lol!Keep this up, girl!!!
There is absolutly nothing wrong with a single woman living alone like one other person mentioned that is just the conservative African view that might make you feel bad. Frankly i think that’s freaking great it shows that you are independent and you are able to sustain yourself without the help of any body. Our parents would frown at it because during their time it was seen as a sign of indecency on the part of the girl, that she wouldn’t misbehave being with her parents, but times have changed, back then women hardly do professional jobs, but today a lady whose parents are in port-harcourt gets a job in lagos and probably has no close relative or even if there was one decides to live on her own, after all when she was in the university the parents where not there to monitor her every move so why all the fretting at this later age?what is important though is: be good, be you, never be a hypocrite.
First time here, and I’m loving your blog. This was such an interesting read:)I agree with you totally. Let women be. Let women breathe. Let women live. amakamedia.com
Good afternoon.am big fan of ur page & I love most of the stories.i was fellowing a particular story “It’s Complicated”until my fone crashed.pls how can I get to read it.thanks
Kindly use the search bar and find ‘simply complicated’ Thank you Shirley